Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Dear Miss Conscience,

it seems like i've gotten myself in hot soup. my taking a stand and being vocal in what i believe, has made me look like i'm the ultimate villian in this situation. i don't know whether to find that flattering or not. haha. you know, i'm always wary about using religion and God's name in anything i do or say. i'm always afraid that i'd do something contradicting. and i find it weird and suspicious at how some people decided to speak up only now, during ramadhan. using religion, God and ramadhan. i mean i've been blogging about this for some time and only now do they speak up? suspicious no?

and i really wonder, do their action reflect their words? i mean, they showed sensitivity to a person i care about, the same amount i would show to a fly. that's what i really hated. and to do that during a difficult time. that is just low. i really didn't care that they got together. i'm, as bryan adams said, all for love. you want to fall in love, fine. but there is something called being sensitive. and it just dawned on me, that if the situation were reversed, he would have done the same thing. just think about it.

and i really would have loved to hear their side of the story after i facebook messaged them. that was a perfect chance to tell me. but i guess i'm just like a fly to them. i would have listened with reason.

honestly, i don't hate them, just dislike. because in islam, you're not supposed to hate. so yes, my words have been full of hatred. but you know how anger blinds you? yes it's like that. am i making excuses for my actions? maybe, maybe not. maybe i really should take breathing lessons to deal with anger.

i once comtemplated to password protect my blog but after thinking about it, i thought that it was redundant. a blog is supposed to be an online journal, no? i was like, to pw.protect is the same as a lock. so why not just buy a diary with a lock and hide under your bed? right?

gosh, i've never blogged such a long entry. and i think that guys who think with their little head instead of their big head, deserves karma. ;)

peace out!
amalina

9:27 pm
ilovedjason

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