fragmentsofagirl.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

spent a bomb in one shot. and i'm going to spend again tomorrow. finally getting singfest tickets. luq has been harping on me to go. so i made him promise to go with me instead of his friends. hah. this is one of those times that i have a boyfriend to accompany me to these things. hahahahaha. i know i know. i want a boyfriend for the wrong reasons. haha.

went out with filz and lanxi. had dinner at spize. it's been a long time since i've been there and the last time was supper that was much too long ago. and today was the first time i was there in broad daylight. after dinner we went to great world city which was my first time. i'm such a jakun when it comes to exploring singapore. and once again, this is one those times i wish for a bf that have a mode of transportation. a car prefably. haha. i mean, i've been to amk hub only once and that was during the construction. sad isn't it?

i feel like watching the dark knight again. any takers? haha.

with the hype of singfest, i decided to listen to acts coming to singapore. and once again, i fell in love with jason mraz's lyrics. and with his crystal clear singing, i just fell more in love with him. and i want to marry him!!! hahahaha. my friend has promised to hatch a plan to help me kidnap jason. he's going to gatecrash singfest and stun jason. and then we're going back to borders to lock him up in the cage. and... ...ahhahahahaha. just let me live in my delusional world until this goes away. and i hope that jason goes to borders. oh please please come to borders!!! anyways, i'm playing this song on repeat on my mp3. it's called mr. curiosity.

hey mr curiosity
is it true what they've been saying about you
are you killing me
you took care of the cat already
and for those who think it's heavy
is it the truth
or is it only gossip
call it mystery or anything
just as long as you call me
i sent the message on did you get it when i left it
said well this catastrophic event
it wasn't meant to mean no harm
but to think there's nothing wrong is a problem

i'm looking for love this time
sounding hopeful but it's making me cry
love is a mystery
mr curious

come back to me
i'm a mr waiting on and never patient can't you see
that i'm the same the way you left me
in a hurry to spell check me
and i'm underlined already in envy green
and pencil red
and i've forgotten what you've said
will you stop working for the dead and return
mr curious well i need some inspiration
it's my birthday and i cannot find no cause for celebration
the scenario is grave but i'll be braver when you save me
from this situation laden with hearsay

love is blinding when your timing's never right
oh who am i to beg for difference
finding love in a distant instant
but i don't mind
at least i tried
well i tried

11:31 pm
ilovedjason

Friday, July 25, 2008

maybe i should have. maybe i shouldn't. it's all too late now. shit has happened. nothing i can do now except rebuild whatever that's broken. let's hope for the best.

a beautiful mess - jason mraz

you've got the best of both worlds
you're the kind of girl who can take down a man
and lift him back up again
you are strong but you're needy
humble but you're greedy
and based on your body language
you shouted cursive i've been reading
your style is quite selective
though your mind is rather reckless
well i guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is

and what a beautiful mess this is
it's like we're picking up trash in dresses

well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
kind of turn themselves into knives
and don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
cause i like being submerged in your contradictions dear
cause here we are
here we are

although you were biased
i love your advice
your comebacks they're quick
and probably have to do with your insecurities
there's no shame in being crazy
depending on how you take these
words i'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

and what a beautiful mess this is
it's like picking up trash in dresses

well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
kind of turn themselves into blades
and kind and courteous is a life i've heard
but it's nice to say that we played in the dirt oh dear
cause here we are
here we are

we're still here
what a beautiful mess this is
and it's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes
and through timeless words
and priceless pictures
we'll fly like birds out of this earth
and tides they turn
and hearts disfigured
and that's no concern
when we're wounded together
and we tore our dresses
stained our shirts
and it's nice today
all the wait was so worth it

11:07 pm
ilovedjason

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

you say you're tired of all the fcuked shit that's happening. well, you're not alone. i'm tired of what has happened to me. so you think i'm wrong in being cautious. when asked if anything was wrong, i voiced my feelings and i got scolded to feeling that way. made guilty for even thinking that way. in your eyes, i'm already that insecure bitch who doesn't trust her friends. i should have just kept my mouth shut. right from the very beginning. should not have told you how i felt. i should have known it would come right back and bite me in the ass. i never learn this lesson. i keep falling and i never learn to pick myself back up. i guess i truly am the unoriginal dumdum.

whatever happens now, happens.

from now, i'll keep my heart in a jar on my nightstand. until i'm ready.

met the polymates. had a blast. you peeps helped me forget about everything for a moment. thanks peeps!! :) nasib baik kaki bukan p**i. funniest charades clue. hahahahahahaha.

8:23 pm
ilovedjason

Sunday, July 20, 2008

well, he certainly knows how to stab a knife and twist it.

meeting the polymates tomorrow.yay! :) i wanna charades with them. hahahahahhaha.

my moods are impossible

9:28 am
ilovedjason

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

i can just listen to jason mraz sing over and over again. especially live. i can't wait to watch him perform live at singfest this year. i'll be looking out for i'm yours, lucky, if it kills me, coyotes, geek in the pink, the remedy. weeeeeeeeeeeeeee. oh jason!!

love is blind and it can blind you. the things people would do for love. how they're willing to suffer for the loved ones. suffer in both good and bad ways. what they're willing to go through. how they're willing to feel.

love is the misery business.

11:50 pm
ilovedjason

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

i miss my friends.

bestfriends - i can't remember the last time i met them. probably a long time ago. i miss watching su and dee banter over silly things. i miss their camwhoring. i miss their chatter. i miss the fact that dee is always late. i miss su's dressing down. i know i've been MIA-ing. sort of. but i'm going to meet them tomorrow. finally.

polymates - i miss the five of us. i miss the seven of us. i miss you peeps alot alot. i want the seven of us to go out. to have that moment when we were in poly.

looking at my now redundant shutterfly pictures, i realised that i miss these two groups of people the most. from the silly pics i took with ain and ham when we were chilling out at bugis. pretending to be asleep. making stupid faces. to the time when we went to kl. the five of us. the jumping pic at sepang circuit. to the time when i just hung out with the bestfriends. them taking pics and trying to figure what was going on in my head. hahahaha. i miss you.

i miss my friends.

11:08 pm
ilovedjason

it could be happening again. i don't know if i can take it. i guess this is some karmic payback for all the wrong things i've done. at least the previous times didn't happen in front of my eyes. but this time round, it's as if i get first class seats to a show that i don't want to watch. it could be happening all over again. maybe it's just too much thinking on my part. but it could be happening again. and i don't think i can take it.

i thought i was numb about it. but i was wrong. it opened up old wounds.

losing faith in humanity

12:22 am
ilovedjason

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

what will you do when the guy you like likes someone else? and that someone else is your good friend?

i'll tell you.

i've had so many experiences like that that i now i think i'm numb about it. i can't do anything about it. but this time round is somehow different. i guess i'm more mature and i've already accepted the fact that we could only be just friends. but i can't be your friend if you won't let me.

if only feelings came with instructions. a how-to guide. wouldn't life just be easier?

1:00 am
ilovedjason

Monday, July 07, 2008

that's what you get when you let your heart win

i don't know why i never learn this lesson. i always end up getting hurt. your baggage made the decision for me. just when i wanted to fall further into your gravity, shit happens. when things were getting better, shit happens again.

9:58 pm
ilovedjason