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amalina.surani
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Saturday, April 15, 2006

it's my last day at work and naturally i should feel happy right? but somehow, i feel like i'm having my worst day ever.

it started from last night.

i went to bed early. my usual routine would be me reading my book. i was reading and it so happens that i finished already. and the time was 10+. i was lazy to fight with my brother for the comp and i was lazy to browse the channels for a good movie, so i decided to sleep. after tossing and turning alot of times, i still couldn't sleep. with my eyes closed i thought about the day. reflections ah konon tu. but thinking just made me feel more unsettled. it kept me up. and then i tried to stop thinking. and i still couldn't sleep. so i turned to my discman for some music. i thought i fell asleep for some minutes, but i don't know why i awoke suddenly. by the end of the cd that i was listening to, i still couldn't sleep. then i remembered an article saying that if you can't sleep tyring taking deep breaths and counting. i thought that would work. but i gave up. i just turned to my side, and said my prayers for the umpteeth times. and i went to sleep.

and then i was dreaming. and guess what my dream was. i was walking the corridors of a certain block in sp. and i dreamt that i had a 'something' on my back. and i was trying my hardest to shrug it off. and i when i got 'it' off my back, i was awake once again. and i checked the time and it was at 1am+. i think i know what triggered this dream. knowing that we'll be bunking at t22 for fb camp has not settled with me. and it's really bothering me. because when i was in yr1, my classmates and i were exploring the business area. and we decided to explore the red bridge. the moment we got off the lift, ain, ham and i felt something cold, something that sent chills down our spine. and the 3 of us looked at each other. and when we asked the guys, they said they didn't feel anything.

i woke up in the morning. got ready for work. and then just now i checked my new timetable and it didn't include my FYP. and i was like SHIT!! F*CK!! and it's a freaking year long shit. and all this shit happens because of me failing a module not even remotely related to my course. and guess what? repeating the module with the same lecturer teaching me. ahhhhhhhhhhh!!

i need a getaway. a long getaway. i need timeoff from all the shit that's happening.

i want to disappear.


10:29 am
ilovedjason