Amalina

2011-12-31T21:00:00.002+08:00

it's the last day of the year!! for the past 2 years, i've been out and about. but this year i'm doing something 'new'. i am staying home. no fireworks for me tonight. just me and the tv and some english football.

so i'm trying to make light of my resolution. starting slowly. one of the things is to blog more. another resolution is to adopt the 'king of anything' attitude. or rather take advice from it. i will try my best not to butt into other people's affairs. hey, if they don't want my help/advice, why waste my time and energy caring? right?

i am smelling some fried chicken at the moment. yum-my!!

in 2011, i went to my first esplanade concert, Sara Bareilles'. i went to maroon 5's again. i made new friends during my brief stint at NIE. i found out my threshold for tolerance of childishness. working with teenage boys, 5/7 days is okay. but i guess i don't need from adults. oh! i also went to another continent for a holiday. 8 days in gold coast and brisbane wasn't enough. hope to go back one day. i rode pillion on a vespa with a classmate.

in 2012, i would turn a quarter of a century. damn! my bestfriend would be getting married. there would be london olympics 2012. can't wait.

Video of the day

Sara Bareilles - King of Anything

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyUhxYmLF-0

2011-12-29T21:05:00.005+08:00

hi. it's been awhile ey? getting active on my blogger is my new year's resolution. so help me, God, i want to continue writing. alot of my friends have asked me to join tumblr but i guess i will have to stick to blogger.

the year's coming to an end. got a new job, in charge of a CCA that i was once active in, floorball. i have to admit watching the boys play has brought all these memories back. good memories. i still remember my very first game in competitive inter-school floorball. it was against NUS and boy, were they good. but we held up against one of the best.

i shall stop here for now. i promise to write more.

as was tradition, i'm going to post a video of the day

Jason Mraz's cover of the Bee Gees' How Deep is Your Love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_kVtl-ypns

2010-11-29T22:52:00.003+08:00

syahrul's birthday was a blast!! :DD glad it was a success and glad that he enjoyed it. and sayang, if you're reading this, shall we try the newly halal buffet at the hotel at raffles city? for our 2 years? heeeeee can't believe we've been together for 2 years.

maya's getting married on thursday and her reception is on sunday. i am so happy for her and hafizd. omg omg! maya would be someone's wife as of thursday!! my prayers would be with them for a smooth solemnisation. :D

2010-11-01T12:39:00.002+08:00

so i went back to motherland. with sal, yani and wani, this time. our first trip together out of the country. excitement filled us for about a week before Friday. shopped and ate till we dropped. didn't even have time for movies nor karaoke. i think my friends now know why i like to go back to motherland so much. kl is a bit like singapore, only more foods are halal and shopping is cheaper. this trip was a trip of many firsts. it was also my first time my flight was delayed, both ways. it was a time in so so long since i set foot in Jalan Masjid India and Central Market. it brought memories from my childhood. where my parents and uncle and aunt would spend hours there, God knows doing what. hahaha.

lately i've been buying cds. i just bought Daniel Merriweather, Beyonce, The Killers and Rhythms Del Mundo. :))) i've never been one for downloading, i leave that to my brothers, but eversince my desktop died, they've not been downloading anything. haha! and i think i'm very glad i bought Daniel Merriweather. there's something about his music. his raspy vocals, his conviction.

so i'm counting down to ana's and maya's wedding. :) woohoots!! 3 borders weddings this year. wonder who's next next year? ;) so i'm looking a maroon baju, whereas woman, blondie and little girl will be looking for a green or orange baju. haha caaaaaaan't waaaaait.

2010-10-21T00:13:00.002+08:00

my birthday celebration with moo was awesome!!! first, the stalking-turned-surprise visit at pp on the eve of my birthday. then it was dinner and movie at amk on the 17th. and universal studios singapore on the 19th!! it was awesome!! kesian my sayang, who got dizzy nearly to the end. muahahahaha but he still wanted to take the mummy ride again. haha i still think that uss is a tad overpriced, but its worth paying for because its a themed theme-park. and i bought a potion drinking bottle. so so cute!!! the next time i wanna get the dino bottle. and maybe a uss lanyard. :))

along with my birthday, there were alot of my friends who were borned in october including fitrifiasco. so to those who know that blog is alive and well again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to us! :))

2010-10-15T12:20:00.002+08:00

today's the 15th. i am the queen of procrastinating. skiving. haahaha. i am indeed hooked on maroon 5's latest album. so catchy. a throwback to 80s and the pop era with a rock twist.

i have concluded that i really do not like in-ear earphones. so invasive. headphones for the win!! speaking of which, i need a new one soon. the piece itself is fraying and the wire's loose. AT is still the best. affordable and lasting. more than 2 years since i bought it.

i've met hazlinda aka horny girlfriend and filzah aka little girl for lunch. :) saw ms yeo last night for dinner. and meeting my ppgirls for sentosa tomorrow. and i'm going to eat ribs on sunday with S. and hopefully uss with him on tuesday too. :))))

2010-10-08T14:35:00.002+08:00

i can't wait for my short trip to kl with my fbgirls. the fact that it's our first time together going overseas. first time is always the most exciting. ;)

i've eaten and now i'm hungry. again. i guess rice doesn't do much. haha!

my mind's blank hence the random crap.

see you again when i have something more to write about.

2010-10-05T13:27:00.002+08:00

in about 2 hours and a half, i'm going to sign on to moe. alhamdullilah. after a year and a half of looking, i found it again and got it. :)

oh wells. october is here. my mum reminded me of my upcoming birthday. tsk tsk. i've planned out the days to date people. and i'm going to motherland the week after my birthday. always a first time. can't wait for sentosa with my ppg. charcos/uss with bb. kl with my fbgirls.

and i'm going kiting this saturday!!

2010-09-28T00:03:00.002+08:00

for a second there, i forgot my new blogger pw. haha!

i didn't go to work today, took mc. because on my way to meet my boncitboyfriend, i had one of my nastiest cramps ever. and yes, it again took place when i was on the train. shivering, cold sweating, cramping uterus didn't help the cause. plus!! i was standing by the door, gripping to the rail. bb said i looked terrible, mind you that's the first time he said i looked terrible. being the sweet boyfriend i know he is, he said to cut short our date, take a cab to simei, accompanied me to the docs, and had our late lunch at banquet.

reached home and laid in front of the tv. haha!! thank God that i have a mattress on the floor in front of my tv instead of the sofa. if it was the sofa, i think i'll be lazing more than ever.

i had my raye outings this past weekend. saturday was a mini borders outing. after visting haider's, i really feel like getting a cat once we get our own place. can we, sayang? then yesterday was with my pp.girls. :) tiresome but good clean fun!! till our next raye, insya'Allah.

2010-09-25T00:09:00.002+08:00

well. hi. it's been a while. i've been inactive in the blogging world for some time. 7 months. seesh. i don't know where to start.

the fitrifiasco is so amusing. yes. i'm using her name now. she's so, entertaining. she'll be a good human study for my future psych classes. :) i would to delve into her mind.

i'm glad my friends are at their happy places. little girl is back with her S. blondie has found her rock. and woman, she's found her new love. and maya's getting married this year!!!!! i'm happy for you girls!

so i'm stopping here for now. drawing a blank. hah. shit i should probably do my assignment. seesh.

2010-01-28T22:15:00.003+08:00

i can't help going tsk tsk when i found out. in a way, you surprised me and yet it doesn't seem so surprising that you actually did it. well, let me remind you. karma, yes i know you don't believe it, but karma got to him. do you think karma will give you a pass and get someone else? no. because karma will happen.

say, i wonder..how does your friend, the one who defended you on her facebook, feels about this? will she defend you now?

i don't know if you know this saying, but it goes something like this...

Biar kulit hitam, jangan hati kita yang hitam..

i really hope that one day you'll back and see what you've done. i really hope you will get past your truth and see the bigger picture. and congratulations. you're now the most selfish person i know.

2010-01-11T21:47:00.002+08:00

phew. i thought my blog has gone and died on me. heh.

so much has happened coming towards the end of 2009. humans are fascinating creatures. how they think, act are so interesting. i'm not being magnanimous, but sometimes i just can't help going tsk tsk at the things people do.

2009 was also the year where alot lives were lost, some famous names and some close to heart.

2009 was also the year which i ventured into malaysia with sue for the first time. and the short trip has it's funny moments. sue complaining that klcc was too far from bukit bintang. walking to petaling at night. having blackouts, 2 no less, in the hotel room. i was being a jakun as it was my first time boarding a flight from terminal 1. ahahahahahaha. always a first. and also to alight at klia. subway breakfast for both days. i love you sue. happy 15 years of friendship! :D

2009 was also the year where i found love. ♥ we've been through ups and downs, felt all emotions, good and bad. our one year coming soon, baby. i love you muhammadsyahrulsalleh! :D

2009 was also the year where i made new friends and began work at a place where hostility is foreign.

2009 was also the year where i learnt the meaning of friendship. friends are people who will stand by you, stands up for you, support you and accepts you for who you are. yeo lanxi, nurfilzah razib, nadiah saladdin, nurul'ain yaacob marican, hamidah majed, rushdi amin, sophian zainal, riduwan khairin. ♥

2009 is now a thing in the past. on to 2010. it will, no doubt, be a year where my friends and i will truly grow up and be working adults. on to more exciting beginnings.

Goodbye 2009.
Hello 2010.

2009-12-07T13:50:00.002+08:00

so i watched new moon last night. didn't expect much from it. it was a case of bad acting and teenage plot. sure i can see the chemistry between kirsten and rob. haha. but pushing aside bad reviews about the movie, i can see why teenage girls go crazy for the twilight saga. at one point in our lives, we had wished for, yes fairytale endings in our love lives. at some point we all had wanted an edward in our lives. not the bloodsucking part. just the part where he's so into her that he can't see past anyone else.

but like me, hopefully, we grow up and know that life isn't a fairytale.

AND! what's up with all these books and movies about vampires. stop it already.

2009-11-17T02:04:00.003+08:00

you know how sometimes we wish that we could turn back time and undo some mistake that we did? well, i want to turn back time and live in my mid-teens years. those were the years that were problem free. where i can be carefree and not have a care about the world.

but i know we can't turn back time. we just have to live in the present and take it in our stride, no matter how much we don't like the present. no, i'm not unhappy. just that i have questions. to as of how. how. how.

sometimes i wish i had ambitions. so that i would know where to go, what to do. but sometimes i'm glad that i don't. so i don't disappoint myself or my parents and friends for believing in me.

i feel so out of touch with my friends lately. i haven't been reading blogs, to update myself with what's going on.

this is so random. this is how i'm feeling at the moment. random.

sometimes i'm amazed at some people's abilities to focus on one thing and follow through. gosh.

i have ten days until that old man's (and i say this with love, sayang) birthday. old bacin man, i love you.

hamizah and i had our annual kl trip which is now going to be every3monthstrip to the motherland. i had fun at the chalet with my polymates. carousel with sue was awesome. madjack with fbgirls was great. ayam penyet with woman and little girl was the best. thank you for spending a bit of your time with me. ♥

2009-11-03T00:01:00.003+08:00

boredom will kill me. eventually.

p/s: i think it is like an amusement park. once he's done with the rides, he'll get bored.

2009-10-19T23:27:00.002+08:00

to whom it may concern,

look inside. look inside your tiny mind. now look a bit harder. cause we're so uninspired, so sick and tired of all the hatred you harbour. so you say it's not okay to be gay. well i think you're just evil. you're just some racist who can't tie my laces. your point of view is medieval.

thank you. thank you very, very much. cause we hate what you do. and we hate your whole crew. so please don't stay in touch. thank you. thank you very, very much. cause your words don't translate. and it's getting quite late. so please don't stay in touch.

do you get a little kick of being slow minded? you want to be like your father. it's approval you're after. well that's not how you find it. do you, do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful? cause there's a hole where your soul should be. you're losing control of it and it's really distasteful.

thank you. thank you very, very much. cause we hate what you do. and we hate your whole crew. so please don't stay in touch.

yours truly,
amalina

2009-10-14T23:02:00.002+08:00

well. maybe my words should have been kept at pg rather than nc16.

shit shit shit. what can i say about shit? or fish. nicer way to put it, isn't it? something smells fishy when it comes to fish. hahahaha!

i'm thirsty. and sayang is my conscience most of the time. hahahaha. random. bleargh.

will watch my mouth. Mouth, watch what you say. Fingers, watch what you type. ahahahahahah.

2009-10-13T00:13:00.002+08:00

today. wasn't a good start to the week. i'm always speechless when this happens. too many thoughts run through my mind. and not one of them are good. you may say i think too much. but no, i can't help it. i'm afraid to go that extreme. to go to that decision. i'm tired of being like this.

can i not celebrate my birthday? it's not about the getting old part. it's just.......

as you can read, today wasn't a good day. i just need to suck it up, and move on. bleargh!

2009-10-04T17:21:00.002+08:00

borders raye! damn it was tiring.

first stop was hadi's. first time seeing everybody donning raye wear. even lanxi and jasmine wore kebayas. you look very pretty, woman. :) after that, we boarded a bus to azhari's, where i saw sakina batrisya for the first time. she is just one of the cutest baby girl i've seen so far. she is so small. i was too scared to hold her, too fragile. then it was to diyannah's and syahrul's. :) after conquering the west side, we headed to the north for filzah's, _____, maya's and haider's. haider's cats are so scarily active. jumping everywhere. chai, sofia and sultan. :) next up was the eastsiders. off to saiful's, mine and lastly jun's. i've never been this tired after a raye outing. food was at abundance. thank you to the parents for hosting us, letting us into your homes.

go green campaign is this saturday. can't wait can't wait. :)

i'm going to bring syahrul raye shopping next year. ahahahahahhaha.

i love you, my pahlawan jurong.
:)

2009-10-02T13:57:00.002+08:00

i'd rather be fat than be a smoker. this is how much i hate smoking. it's a expensive bad habit. it stinks. i certainly don't find sucking on a butt of a cigarette attractive. your lungs turn black and it's not as if you can turn your lungs back to a healthy pink if you ever stop smoking.

smoking sucks. and for now, all i can do is laugh at the irony of it.

2009-09-29T14:08:00.002+08:00

had my family raye chalet on saturday. instead of the norm renting a bus, we rented a chalet and spent a whole day there. we had a photoshoot out in the 'garden'. hahahahaha. everybody brought juadah raya. it was awesome. but i still prefer visiting.

for pictures i took, go to my facebook photos. thank you very nice.

2009-09-25T00:36:00.002+08:00

bang bang.
he shot me down.
bang bang.
i hit the ground.
bang bang.
that awful sound.
bang bang.
my baby shot me down.

if you've heard of russell peters, then you would, obviously, know the infamous, ingenious saying. 'BE A MAN. DO THE RIGHT THING!'

when you let the girl take all the heat, and you keep quiet.
when you depend on a girl financially, and hoping for more.
when you lie to a girl.
when you give a girl false hope.
when you don't own up to your mistakes.
when you cheat on a girl.

what does it say about you, as a man?
it makes you a coward.
i say, be a man.
don't sweet talk your way into a girl's heart. a girl can only take so much bullshit before she finds, yes, a better man.

2009-09-23T00:14:00.002+08:00

i feel out of touch with my friends. the only person i seem to be contacting is s. lanxi's started school. nadiah's starting work and school soon. filz's having her school break but working. my polymates? don't need to say much. all of them are busy. i miss these people. can't wait for the next 2 saturdays.

sue!! bile bole aku jumpe kau??!!!!

------

impatience.
a common trait seen in alot of singaporeans. young, old. rich, poor. male, female.
i was going down the steps from an upper deck of a bus to the lower deck. since it was at a stop, people alight and boarded the bus. there was already a jam at the exit, so i was stuck at the base of the steps. and this lady, handphone on her ear, trying to squeeze her way in between me and stairs 'wall'. so me being me, i just stood there, while she attempts to squeeze through. she could've waited. there was pratically no one on the upper deck. and she was the first to board the bus from that stop. -___-"
another separate incident. (well, i've had too many of these but this one is worth telling) i was the train, getting off at tanah merah station. on that particular day, it was unbelievable busy. as the train slowed down at the station, i got ready to go out. i think i was invisible on that day because no one seemed to move after looking throught the glass panel. and when the doors opened, yes you guessed it. these people, some looked educated even, wasn't considerate enough to move one step behind. so of course, i just stood there. with the classic razi hand gesture, i stared at them. a pilot, i think it was a pilot because of his uniform, was polite enough to make way. main culprits: maids at orchard station and i'm sorry for sounding racist here, chinese people. they would RUN inside as if they're being chased by some devil.

'blindness'
some people would just pretend there wasn't anyone in the line and sashays in front of you.
at watsons a couple of months ago, i was buying a shitload of stuff. so i queued. (duh!) suddenly this nyonya stepped in front of me, as if queueing up. and i'm like 'HELLO!' then i gently tapped on her shoulder and said there was a queue behind me. and you know what she said to me?!! 'oh i thought you were looking around for something' HUH!!!!!?! i was standing there. standing still right behind the person in front of me and she said i was looking for something?!
another incident. i queued where the queue for the bubble tea was. and then there were 2 maids, lingering a few steps behind me. yes they looked like they were going to get something but they were standing 5 steps away from the stall. right before the owner took my order, one of the maids swooped in next to me, half expecting her order to be taken. like Hello!!

and my favourite!
i was in a toilet at a shopping centre. and there was a queue to go into the ladies, as always. and there was this group of tanjong katong girls huddling around the entrance, a few from that group was actually in the queue. the ones that wasn't was also in that group. i said excuse me politely, and some went out from the ladies. i was a few steps behind them and i turned and said to nadiah, in normal speaking tones, 'clever is also stupid'. and what do you know? they turned and looked at me. 'he who eats chilli, will taste the spicyness.'

well that's it for tonight. :)

2009-09-18T00:45:00.002+08:00

i had one of my best days today. hanging out with 2 out 3 of my close girlfriends, is good enough. having dinner with him, was awesome. a quiet bus ride made my day. a day filled with love. :)

today marks one month to my big day. bleargh. do i want to countdown? no! this year marks alot of firsts for me and him. :)

have you guys heard of the swensen's ice cream buffet?! like OMG! yummy! someone take me there for my birthday, please?

2009-09-15T15:40:00.002+08:00

if i'm a bad person, you don't like me
well i guess i'll make my own way
it's a circle, a mean cycle
i can't excite you anymore
where's your gavel? your jury?
what's my offense this time?
you're not a judge but if you're going to judge me
well sentence me to another life
don't wanna hear your sad songs
i don't wanna feel your pain
when you swear it's all my fault
cause you know we're not the same
we're not the same, oh we're not the same
the friends who stuck together
we wrote our names in blood
but i guess you can't accept that the change is good
well you treat me just like another stranger
well it's nice to meet you sir
i guess i'll go
i best be on my way out
you treat me just like another stranger
it's nice to meet you sir
i guess i'll go
i best be on my way out
IGNORANCE IS YOUR NEW BESTFRIEND
this is the best thing that could've happened
any longer and i wouldn't have made it
it's not a war no, it's not a rapture
i'm just a person but you can't take it
the same tricks that once fooled me
they won't get you anywhere
i'm not the same kid from your memory
well now i can fend for myself

i am currently hooked on this song by paramore, ignorance. it's awesome!! i decided this to be my blog entry purely for sarcastic reasons. well, i can't stray too far from my 'evil' ways right? shhhhhhhhhhh........it! okay? bye! :s

2009-09-15T01:00:00.002+08:00

i broke fast today with iced lemon tea and famous amos' no nut fudge brownie. if you've had one of those, you'll probably know that it's loaded with sugar. and yes. i got high on sugar while i was at work. again. and woman, i ate the whole thing. i didn't save any for after! haha!

i hope you had a good first day, woman! :) xoxo

8months is finally here. :) goodnight sayang. i love you.

2009-09-13T14:17:00.001+08:00

i wonder how important i am in your life.
but for today,
the sky cries with me.

2009-09-11T01:03:00.003+08:00

-___-
this is how i'm feeling right now. i'm at lost for words yet again.

i should stay away from the cyber world and get back to reading books. it'll do my eyes a lot of good. it'll help me stay away from all the shit that has gone on. bleargh.

2009-09-09T01:28:00.002+08:00

had pastamania yet again. :) woooohoooots!

in life, i guess there are and will always be things that are just hard to fathom. it's better that we stop figuring out life and enjoy it as it is. hopefully our troubles will melt away and soon we can forget about our past. celebrate the little things in life, as it might the ones that will bring true joy. life, really is unexpected.

anonymous, you have got some balls.

2009-09-08T00:50:00.002+08:00

okay. my blogger is back to normal. :)

can you believe it that it's been 17days into Ramadhan? only 12days more. too fast. i guess i know why people are calling this month the Holy Month. it's the only month where you can pray terawih. it's the month that witnessed the descent of the Qur'an. it's the month when Laillatul Qad'ar happens. it's the only month when it's wajib to fast. it's the only month that all evil are locked away. it's the month when you do good deeds, your pahala will multiply more.

--------

today i found out something disturbing.

this person is an attention seeker.
this person can't see past their own truth.
this person that i knew is so contradicting.
this person would say one thing, and then another in the next minute.
this person wouldn't know that they're doing wrong, because they're blinded by their truth.
this person tries her best to by holy, but fails because this person tries too hard that it looks fake.

and i can't believe i'm saying the next few sentences, but i am. i feel sorry for this person. i feel sorry because this person incurred so much hate unto oneself. this person stepped on so many toes. this person leaves me speechless with their delusion, contradictions and attention seeking ways. i won't say 'get a load of forgiveness in this holy month' but i will pray for this person.

no, i am not that anonymous about how i feel towards this person. i've said my piece. and honestly, i'm tired of this person.

2009-09-05T15:12:00.001+08:00

cadbury eyebrows, mak-mal, mal-am and laughters made my night. :)

break fast with my fave company. haig road hawker for buke. ain was disgusted with the tables. it was cramped because the original place where the man wanted to seat us, a group of underage mats decided to open table. haha. so there we were seated in front of watson's. sandwiched in between 2 groups of m&ms. on the other side, the m&ms seemed to be also still in secondary school. so i noticed this makcik and her maid and 2 strollers stopped right in front of watsons. my first thought was, it's too late to get a seat now that it's nearing to maghrib. after a few minutes chatting with syahrul and ain while waiting for the rest to arrive, a lady in black marched to minah table and shouted, 'eh p***mak kau. kau penting kan members tak ingatkan mak sendiri!' translation, (expletive) you put your friends first instead of your mother.

and the minah at the head of the table stood up and shouted back in malay, 'fine ah. i don't need to eat.' the tables which already filled with the secondary kids was soon left alone and the makcik, maid and sister sat down.

well that was the highlight before buke. :)

i don't think i'll eat at haig hawker again. food wasn't that memorable. takopachi, ayam percik completed my night. i should have bought ayam percik for syahrul too, it was awesome!!

2009-09-02T16:48:00.001+08:00

spent the day yesterday with my girlfriends. fd4 is didn't live up to the fd expectations. the first one set the tone, and the third one was the goriest. but the 3d made it worth my while.

ramadhan has shown me different sides of people. well, i'm not going to go deeper into this because who i am to preach God's teachings. as a Muslim, i have long way to go before i can call myself a good muslim. so i guess we should look at ourselves, practice before we preach, no?

so. ramadhan. it's about bringing muslims together no? i can't wait for iftar(s) next week. to see people i've not seen in some time. maybe a mini reunion. :)

i've not stepped onto my motherland in 4months. and i'm so sad. krispy kreme has since opened. shilin taiwan snacks is now halal. my subway, sakae sushi. omg. i shouldn't be talking about food now, but the idea of eating at kl is just so tantalising.

i'm craving for shaker fries, tall white choc mocha blended coffee, mcspicy with cheese. burger ramly again, dengdeng, takopachi. and pineapple tarts.

12 days have gone. time's passing faster everyday.

2009-09-01T21:27:00.001+08:00

Dear Miss Conscience,

it seems like i've gotten myself in hot soup. my taking a stand and being vocal in what i believe, has made me look like i'm the ultimate villian in this situation. i don't know whether to find that flattering or not. haha. you know, i'm always wary about using religion and God's name in anything i do or say. i'm always afraid that i'd do something contradicting. and i find it weird and suspicious at how some people decided to speak up only now, during ramadhan. using religion, God and ramadhan. i mean i've been blogging about this for some time and only now do they speak up? suspicious no?

and i really wonder, do their action reflect their words? i mean, they showed sensitivity to a person i care about, the same amount i would show to a fly. that's what i really hated. and to do that during a difficult time. that is just low. i really didn't care that they got together. i'm, as bryan adams said, all for love. you want to fall in love, fine. but there is something called being sensitive. and it just dawned on me, that if the situation were reversed, he would have done the same thing. just think about it.

and i really would have loved to hear their side of the story after i facebook messaged them. that was a perfect chance to tell me. but i guess i'm just like a fly to them. i would have listened with reason.

honestly, i don't hate them, just dislike. because in islam, you're not supposed to hate. so yes, my words have been full of hatred. but you know how anger blinds you? yes it's like that. am i making excuses for my actions? maybe, maybe not. maybe i really should take breathing lessons to deal with anger.

i once comtemplated to password protect my blog but after thinking about it, i thought that it was redundant. a blog is supposed to be an online journal, no? i was like, to pw.protect is the same as a lock. so why not just buy a diary with a lock and hide under your bed? right?

gosh, i've never blogged such a long entry. and i think that guys who think with their little head instead of their big head, deserves karma. ;)

peace out!
amalina

2009-08-28T22:56:00.001+08:00

'Get this into your head that no one cares how much you "dislike, abhor, loathe her." get a load of forgiveness in this holy month and maybe He might give you a peace of mind from your unnecessary and judgmental hatred. peace.'

well. i didn't know my blog was read by some people and pretty efficient i must say. i wonder how you knew. let me ask you this. if you don't care, why bother putting it on your facebook? this is MY private space. yeah sure it's for everyone to read. if it's my private space, and i'm venting, why should you give a damn?

you know, i actually sent your friends a facebook message, telling them what i thought about them. and after that i couldn't give a shit(hah!) anymore. i swallowed my pride and made a move to explain. but did they reply? well, let me check my facebook inbox. wait wait for it....no i can see that they didn't. so i think this is them facing what they did. 'facing us and be brave'? what a load of bs.

i snapped and decided to blog about it. all humans make mistakes. i admit mine. i should have kept my mouth shut from the very beginning. give your friends the same advice. and add this, privacy and decency to be sensitive would have kept this all at bay. me? i just a page out of their book and did the same thing. :)

ps. i stopped venting on fb. and now you want to start again? :)

2009-08-28T00:39:00.002+08:00

suddenly i don't feel like celebrating my birthday anymore. i don't want to be an octo baby. seesh. i really fcuking hate her can. i know this month is ramadhan. but i can't help it. if satan, devils and all things bad are locked up, then this is really me. i really dislike, abhor, loathe her.

friends. forget my birthday. forget i was ever born in october. i don't want to be reminded of her.

i want to forget i was friends with her.
i want to forget we share the same likes.
i want to forget that we were borned in the same month.
i want to forget what he said to her.
i want to forget what she said to him.
i want to forget what she and him did to her.
i want to forget her.
i want to forget her.

i want to get selective amnesia.

2009-08-26T00:37:00.002+08:00

well. ramadhan is here and tomorrow's the fifth day we're fasting. time is passing by so fast that it scares me sometimes. this is our first ramadhan together and tomorrow would be our first break fast together. so many firsts. i'm glad. :)

i can't wait to start school. though it's in january, this excitement i'm feeling now is overwhelming. i guess i just miss going to school. studying.

2009-08-19T00:12:00.002+08:00

it's been seven months. can you believe it? time passes so fast. :)

well. ramadhan is nearly here. a few days to go. for the past couple of years, i've not been feeling the hype for raye like i always did when i was younger. nowadays, i'm just looking forward to ramadhan. this year, i want to try praying terawih at a mosque. :) maya says the feeling is different. i guess i'll have to find out for myself.

woman and me are also looking forward to going to the bazaar. food food foods!! dengdeng, ramly burger, keropok lekor! all yummy foods. maybe ayam percik also.

well, ramadhan will pass by as quickly. then it'll be raye. and then my birthday. which unfortunately coincides with deepavali. ever since the government made an update about the deepavali date, i've been getting jibes from my polyfriends. they are the number one suspects of people who make fun of me. sure sure, we've been friends for 5 years now, but hell, they still and always will know which buttons to press. bleargh. and yes. i know you people read my blog.

for the first time, i'm going make a birthday wish list. :) muahahahahahaha.
- fujifilm instax camera (but i want before raye)
- or a digicam
- a shopping and eating trip to kl. yeah i know i've been there loads of times, but i can never get enough of the food.
- an n97. though i have a new phone. :)
- a month's supply of reese's.
- a complete dvd boxset of friends.
- a laptop that's lightweight
- a new pair of vans shoes
- another manhattan portage backpack

but you know. as long as i spend my celebrations with people i care about, that's enough for me. :)

2009-07-29T00:55:00.002+08:00

i need a new birthmonth.
i need a new hometown.
i need a new idol.
i need a new job.
i need anything that is not associated with shit.

i really should try breathing when i'm angry. but some bad shit always get to me. get on my effing nerves. shit. i really should go for breathing class. maybe take some anger management classes too. or maybe i should just try out kickboxing so i can effing kick all my anger out of me. so. or maybe i should learn why good characters are really the evil ones. maybe, maybe.

went for liverpool vs. singapore. first half was so-so. rafa didn't play the star players. but hey. second half was awesome! :) torres, kuyt scored. :) alonso played. part-time kopite. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

2009-07-24T00:24:00.002+08:00

almost everything in my life is tainted with you. it's so tainted with you that it's not even funny anymore. and i'm supposed to be neutral about that? so please, help me God, i want her out of my life. now i can't, won't even want to pretend to like you. shit happens, everyone. even when you don't want to.

my feel good music doesn't sound as good anymore. bleargh. :(

2009-07-18T22:58:00.003+08:00

to whom it may concern.

i may be 'evil' by doing this, but i don't give a shit. honestly. what's your definition of evil? by writing sarcastic remarks is evil? what dictionary are you using? if your definition of evil is writing sarcastic remarks, then my definition of evil is when someone hurts my friend. so when you say 'whatever good character' you have in you left, what is the definition of 'good character' in your dictionary? is it when your boyfriend decided to move on blatantly in front of someone who may have had feelings for him? and especially when she was still grieving over the loss of someone important in her life? is 'good character' defined as oh-she-doesn't-want-him-now-so-i'll-take-him? is 'good character' being selfish of your own happiness in the expense of others? so please before you say you have 'good character', question yourself and your boyfriend.

and one more thing. all of us don't live in your world. we live in the real world. we don't have to live by your rules. we don't want to pretend to like you. we don't have to hug you everytime we see you. you are no one to me, in my world. to me, you were someone whom i used to know. someone who wouldn't hurt her friends. turns out i was wrong. some friend you are.

last but not least. i just don't get how fcuking oblivious you can be. no one asks someone who's in mourning 'what are we?'. no one asks that and moves on to her friend in one week. how insensitive can one get? well, you sure showed me. and if i didn't know how ignorant someone can get. well, you showed that one to me too. facebook wall posts are for everyone to see, you know? or are you THAT ignorant not to know that too?

and please. don't make excuses for yourselves. 'we're in love, so we're entitled to our own happiness'. BULLSHIT! love is blind or should i say, blinding. it blinds you to the fact that you think what you're doing wrong is right. if you seriously think that getting your happiness at someone else's expense is right, gosh, you're sorely mistaken.

so now i know someone who's oblivious, ignorant, delusional, someone with 'good character', someone who does no evil. how does your boyfriend keep up with that? oh wait, i forgot. you live in your world. you could be anybody.

(in true treeboy...)okay? bye!

-----------

i've gotten a load off my chest. i guess that should last me for some time.

zoo with the gang was okaaaay. only the splash show amused me. the rest was boring. hahahahaha. next up, underwater world! sad but true, i've never been there.

2009-07-16T00:33:00.002+08:00

i should be glad i'm learning about human behaviour. the society. because i'm curious what kind humanity some people have in them. i want to know why.

there's so much hate, war in this world that it's embedded in our lives. it's so deeply embedded that we can't separate the negative from our everyday lives. there's always those little things that have negativity in them.

well. i've been warned. so i'm staying away from 'that'. 'they' are not worth it.

2009-07-11T01:56:00.002+08:00

best date. so far. thank you, sayang. :)

science centre is still the same, after a few years. had fun walking around, looking at the exhibitions. i want to go to the zoo next. and tree top walk.

sily.

2009-07-08T10:42:00.002+08:00

Michael Jackson. i remember first listening to him when i was about five or six. i'll be there, rockin' robin, ben. those were my favourite songs from the king of pop. then as i grew older, i listened to his older songs. thriller, bad, billie jean, black and white, heal the world. his music will forever live on.

----------------

it will be six months this july. :) sily.

2009-06-25T00:34:00.002+08:00

firstly, i'd like to wish a Happy Birthday to Ms Suhaila Abdullah. twenty two years old. :)
next, to my girlfriends. one who would be coming back home, i can't wait for your return. and the other one, enjoy your hols, woman!

i want to spend more time with him before he starts school in august. then he'll be furthur away from me. all the way to the end. but when that time comes, i'll take it in my stride, and pray for the best. i love you, muhammad syahrul.

2009-06-18T14:14:00.002+08:00

'sometimes i get so weird
i even freak myself out
i laugh myself to sleep
it's my lullaby
sometimes i drive so fast
just to feel the danger
i wanna scream
it makes me feel alive
is it enough to love?
is it enough to breathe?
somebody rip my heart out
and leave me here to bleed
is it enough to die?
somebody save my life
i'd rather be anything but ordinary please
to walk within the lines
would make my life so boring
i want to know that i
have been to the extreme
so knock me off my feet
come on now give it to me
anything to make me feel alive
let down your defenses
use no common sense
if you look you will see
that this world is beautiful
accident turbulent succulent
opulent permanent, no way
i wanna taste it
don't wanna waste it away
sometimes i get so weird
i even freak myself out
i laugh myself to sleep
it's my lullaby...

- Anything but Ordinary by Avril Lavigne

so yeah. i want to be anything but ordinary. :)

2009-06-14T00:21:00.002+08:00

'I don't know what he does to make you cry. But I'll be there to make you smile. I don't have a fancy car. To get to you I'd walk a thousand miles. I don't care if he buys you nice things. Does his gifts come from the heart? I don't know. But if you were my girl. I'd make it so we'd never be apart. But my love is all I have to give. Without you I don't think I could live. I wish I could give the world to you. But love is all I have to give
When you talk does it seem like he's not. Even listening to a word you say? That's okay babe, just tell me your problems. I'll try my best to kiss them all away. Does he leave when you need him the most? Does his friends get all your time? Baby please. I'm on my knees. Praying for the day that you'll be mine. To you... hey girl, I don't want you to cry no more inside. All the money in the world could never add up to all the love. I have inside... I love you. And I will give it to you. All I can give, all I can give. Everything I have is for you. But love is all I have to give. But my love is all I have to give. Without you I don't think I can live. I wish I could give the world to you. But love is all I have to give... to you.'

if only everyone in a relationship was like that. this song is courtesy of backstreet boys by the way. they were my first boyband. :) hahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha. i still hold this song close to my heart. :)

and to those who know my bestfriend, suhaila, i'm here to help advertise her turning twentytwo in ten days.

2009-06-11T00:02:00.002+08:00

haven't you always wondered about it feels like to cut people off from your life? i have and it feels like shit. i felt like shit. guilty as hell. sure didn't feel good. i've yet to apologise to the person. maybe it's because i don't have the guts to do it yet. i will. someday, i'll summon all of my courage to apologise. i will.

but is it justified when the reason you avoided the person is valid? is it okay for you to ignore someone who's done something so wrong, that you'd cut them out from your life? maybe this is where the saying 'forgive and forget' comes into play. for most of us, even if you don't admit it, all of us are capable of forgiving. just not the forgetting part. sooner or later, the person you've cut off or trying to cut off will reappear. and that will just make the forgetting that much harder.

----

i went out with woman today. to jb! i was kind of craving for sushi. and she was craving for her secret recipe cakes. and i was too full by the end of the day. and add my menstrual cramps, it was like a rollercoaster in my stomach.

and now i'm waiting for my dearest to reach home. :)

2009-06-06T23:50:00.002+08:00

time is great isn't? you can make it finite, you can make it infinite. time, tells us things that we want to know and things that we don't want to know. when that choice is is front of us, and it doesn't go your way, you'd blame time for it. 'oh give it time,' you'd say. but really, all one has to do is accept it and move on.

i don't know why i'm thinking this. just because.

me? i'm learning to take things as they are and try not to expect anything. so there'll be no disappointment. no disappointments, no hurt feelings.

okay, i'm starting to blabber nothing.

on to the more funny stuff that happened to me yesterday.

i was running to catch a bus. i decided to run on the grass because there were people on the pavement. so as i was making a run for a bus that was still clearly being stuck at the traffic light, i unknowingly stepped into a hole. that i didn't see. yes yes. my right foot went into a hole on the grass. my reaction? a shriek that sounded a lot like 'AAAAAAAAAAAAH' and with that i fell on right knee and then my left. in my hand were my shoebag and stick. i looked down, got up and ran ahead. and mind you, the bus was still at the traffic light. moral of the story? no it's not something philosphical. run on hard ground. where you know, there won't be any holes. in other words an informed decision.

2009-05-27T00:47:00.002+08:00

there's this saying that goes...'never judge a book by it's cover.'

may is nearly gone and june would be here. (and su, i know you will tag me to say it's how many days to your birthday!) and yes. i'm hunting for her birthday present. hahahahahahah.

lately, i have thing for vampires. yes vampires. the bloodsucking undead. their raw sexuality, their heightened senses, immortality, speed, agility. it all draws me in. yuuuummy. hah. ;)

2009-05-22T12:25:00.002+08:00

my blog is nearly half dead. heh.

so what's been happening with me?

yes, i went back to motherland again. this time round with just me, ain and ham. going there with a small group is fun. lesser decision making. so we took the normal train ride. first stop was pavilion. bought movie tickets, while waiting we decided to try out the fish spa. out of three of us, only ain has tried. i was excited at first. little fishies to eat my dead skin cells. so we went to prepare their feasts, our feet. we had to spray some enzyme liquid thing on our dirty dirty feet. i was so excited that i sprayed my feet twice. after we prepared our feet, we went to find a perfect spot for the fishies. there's 2 ponds. small fish and big fish. there was no way i was going to sit through half an hour of BIG fishies eating my feet. ain and ham dipped their feet in first. and my dearest girlfriends' reaction scared me. literally scared me. the thing about me is, when humans tickle my feet, i don't mind so much. but hundreds of little fishies putting their little fishie mouth to suck up your dead skin cells, is ticklish. very very ticklish. and especially when they swim in between your toes, i grabbed ham's arm really hard and kept hitting ain's shoulder. i think i spent only fifteen minutes out of the thirty that they gave. i became their photographer after that. pictures of me squeaming and ham ain trying out the big fish pond, are all on facebook. :)

2009-05-05T23:08:00.002+08:00

may's here already. and time is moving. too fast. i know she'll be estatic when she sees this. su's birthday is next month. and it's her 22nd birthday. seesh.

wolverine's out. awesome. :)

i'm falling in love. all over again. with the same man. :) none other than my jason. :) heehee. who walks around france, in flip flops no less, and performs on the streets? with him, his guitar.

ff's awesome too!! sal would definitely agree. ulysses is a good way to start the new album. alex's voice was sexy, whispering like that. hahahahahaha. if they coming to singapore to perform, i'm going. but depends at which arena. indoor stadium again!!

come on, come on
come on
let's get hiiiiigh..

2009-04-25T21:48:00.003+08:00

i remember the day when i first met nadiah saladdin. i don't think i was the one who gave her the paperchase tour. but i remembered her batch. because there was two nadia's. she joined the paperchase department the week after her training. my first impression of her was that she's too quiet to be in paperchase. and as time went by, how i was proved wrong. so wrong. i remembered the first time she joined us for an after work activity. she was working mid shift and we were going to have dinner. she became my bimbo partner in crime, my listening ear, my close friend.

i miss you, girlfriend.

2009-04-20T01:36:00.002+08:00

i have a story to tell. a wise person told me this....

a friend of hers doesn't wear the tudung..then suddenly one day, she did..out of the blue..then her friend asked her..why suddenly you wear tudung..
oh because i don't want Allah to ignore me..
'those who don't have the urge, the need to wear the tudung..or taubat..you have every right to be scared that Allah doesnt care about you anymore. that He doesn't even want to look at you anymore.'

so i'm scared for those people who give religion a backseat in their lives. no, i'm not being righteous. He is the Almighty after all. think about it.

2009-04-16T19:16:00.002+08:00

woman and i were chatting last night. and she asked me when was the first time we talked. and amazingly, i remembered. it was when we were walking to my first morning briefing, ham was there too. and then she asked me how did we become good friends. we just did. :) i guessed we just clicked. ms yeo, i'm glad to have met you two years ago.

so i watched american idol yesterday and one of the contestants sang bryan adams' have you ever really loved a woman. he's the king of ballads. then i was watching videos of his songs on youtube. i stumbled upon heaven unplugged. it's a beautiful song. :)

thinking about all our younger years
there was only you and me
we were young and wild and free
now nothing can take you away from me
we've been down that road before
but that's over now
you keep me coming back for more
baby, you're all that i want
when you're lying here in my arms
i'm finding it hard to believe
we're in heaven
and love is all that i need
and i found it there in your heart
it isn't too hard to see
we're in heaven
once in your life you find someone
who will turn your world around
bring you up when you're feeling down
nothing could change what you mean to me
there's lots that i could say
but just hold me now
cause our love will light the way
baby, you're all that i want
when you're lying here in my arms
i'm finding it hard to believe
we're in heaven
and love is all that i need
and i found it there in your heart
it isn't too hard to see
we're in heaven
i've been waiting for so long
for something to arrive
for love to come along
now our dreams are coming true
through the good times and the bad
i'll be standing there by you...

2009-04-14T10:19:00.002+08:00

i am back. this was my fourth time with my polymates. twice with school and twice on our own. next time longer. hehe. sunway, genting. :D

but for now. i'll have to content myself with day trips and train rides. :)

2009-04-01T01:10:00.002+08:00

plans are just plans. it may happen, it may not. try not to put any hopes on it. take each day as it is. whatever happens, happens.

he suggested that we take 2weeks of no contact? hhahahaahah. never going to happen. one day of no texts, no call makes me whiny. what about 2weeks of neither? seesh. so this is still the honeymoon period as most would say. :D

i want this for forever. :)

2009-03-29T01:08:00.002+08:00

seesh. i'm sick again. i think this is the second time i've had flu in three months? well anyways. i'm going back to my motherland in april with my classmates. everything is all set. coaches are booked and double checked. hotel is booked and also double checked. all set and ready to go. just need to pack. which i can do the day before.

i'm so sick right now. it's not funny.

2009-03-20T20:11:00.002+08:00

it's amazing isn't it? how the human mind works. how it takes loss for someone to realise that he/she should cherish every moment they have with the ones they love. to end each day with forgiveness and not hold any grudges. to begin each day anew. to take each day as it is. and whatever happens, happens.

filz, your mini borders family will be there for you k? we'll be strong with and for you. i love you, filz.

on a brigther note, i went on a family holiday. my first in 2years? this is the second time i felt so bloated in one day. macs, nandos, egg tarts, asam laksa, a&w, subway, rotiboy (yes, rotiboy is still alive).

i can't wait for holiday with my poly mates. :)

2009-03-12T23:51:00.002+08:00

i'm so tired of feeling this way. getting this much distrust. treated this way. i'm a freaking 22yearold. sometimes i just wish i could get away from it all. i bottle too many things, feelings inside that i'm amazed at myself that i'm capable of feeling anything anymore. sucks to be me.

2009-03-08T19:27:00.003+08:00

well. i'm bored to tears. weekend stay-at-home tv should have better shows if they really want people to stay at home. no amount of sudoku puzzles can bring me out of weekend misery. sal!!!!! i want to meet you!!! you can help me buy my sports shoooooes. hahahahaha. we can go to queensway. or have our madjack dinner. woohoo!

woman, i miss you lah!! can't wait for wednesday!! then i can gloat to you my jason experience. muahahaahaha.

alot of sarcastic thoughts are going through my head. but i'll be good and keep those thoughts in my head. the distance between me and the situation has made me seen the bigger picture, vividly. it made me see how poisonous it was. clouds one judgment, beliefs, morals. glad to have gone from that place. well. back to reality anyways.

2009-03-06T00:57:00.002+08:00

february has come and gone. 5th march was the day that i've been looking forward to. and it didn't disappoint. he didn't disappoint. his performance was worth whatever i paid for. his interaction, his opera singing. he's hot. and i was five metres away from him. right smack in the middle. and he performed one of my favourite songs from the second album, mr curiosity. as i predicted, and told my brother, he sang Lucky with a local artiste. that bitch is one lucky lady.

it was the remedy that first attracted me to jason. and then you and i both. after that he was quiet for a while. then geek in the pink came out. the rest is history. and he performed BUTTERFLY!!! sexiest song from the third album!! too bad he didn't perform bella luna. JASON, PLESAE COME AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

PEOPLE OF THE EARTH!! PLEASE VISIT FAR EAST PLAZA WHEN YOU'RE FREEEEEE. NOISE FESTIVAL IS ON. IT'S A SHOWCASE OF OUR LOCAL TALENTS. ARTS, MUSIC AND PHOTOGRAHPY. AND LOOK FOR A CERTAIN COMIC BOOK STRIP. :)

2009-02-25T12:41:00.002+08:00

as i'm gearing up for jason's concert next week, i'm listening to all his albums. just refresh my memory. of his brilliance with wordplay. :) listening to the second album, Mr. A-Z, the last song has always appealed to me. Song For A Friend is truly a song for a friend. this is for my friend who, i think needs it most. to the only one who calls me ms. piggy. love you long time, girlfriend.

song for a friend

well you're magic he said
but don't let it all go to your head
cause i bet if you all had it all figured out
then you'd never get out of bed
no doubt
of all the things that i've read what he wrote me
is now sounding like the man i was hoping to be
keep on keeping it real
cause it keeps getting easier he'll see
he's the reason that i'm laughing
even if there's no one else
he said you've got to love yourself
you said you shouldn't mumble when you speak
but keep your tongue up in your cheek
and if you stumble on to something better
remember that it's humble that you seek
you got all the skill you need
individuality
you got something
call it gumption
call it anything you want
because when you play the fool now
you're only fooling everyone else
you're learning to love yourself
there's no price to pay
when you give and what you take
that's why it's easy to thank you
let's say take a break from the day
and get back to the old garage
because life's too short anyway
but at least it's better than average
as long as you got me
and i got you
you know we got a lot to go around
i'll be your friend
you're other brother
another love to come and comfort you
and i'll keep reminding
if it's the only thing i ever do
i will always love you
climb up over the top
survey the state of the soul
you've got to find out for yourself whether or not you're truly trying
why not give it a shot
shake it
take control and inevitably wind up
find out for yourself all the strengths you have inside you.

2009-02-22T00:25:00.002+08:00

i'm sticking with you..
cause you're made out of glue..

:)

like i told sue. i'm content. with life at the moment. no work stress. with friends. with family. with him. :) live and let live.

2009-02-13T12:16:00.001+08:00

my last day. the only bad thing about my last day was the closing manager. everything else was just dandy. after work we went for my last supper. as lanxi says, i feel free-er now. nothing hanging around my head about merchandising, being at the register, doing recovery, trying not to piss off any of the managers, trying not to piss myself off and ignoring some managers. i'll miss the people definitely, the supervisors and some of the managers. if paperchase was a standalone store, i'll gladly join!! :)

well. i started my bumming around. my goal is to finish all my books that i've not read and watch my movies i've not watched. all this before i find something. or before something happens to me.

concerts are coming up like nobody's business. and it's something that's going to make me broke.

welcome to the league of the unemployed

2009-02-08T22:27:00.002+08:00

this was the scene on sunday morning. after subuh prayers, i was getting ready to sleep again when luq came into my room with Life section.

luq: kak, i have to show something.
me: what?
luq: (opens the paper and pointed to a small section)
me: WHAT?!! f***. oh no!! more money spent on another concert.
luq: i knew it!

my dear dear brother just had to show me that craig david is coming to singapore in april. urgh!! i have to go. i've been saying that i would go to his show if he ever comes to singapore. so yeah.

five more work days!! woohoo!

2009-02-04T23:05:00.002+08:00

sue, ham!! korang tak betul ah............

I CAN'T WAIT TO LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seven more working days!! thank God. and then it's just rotting time after that. free as a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiird.

counting down the days.....

2009-02-02T22:47:00.002+08:00

oh how we live in a small small world.

work! i'm counting down the days to my last day. and it happens to be on the 14th. how significant. he's working closing that night too. so it's okay. :D everyone has been asking me about my last day today. 14th feb!! a day to look forward to! :) hahaha.

i didn't remember about this but he just had to remind me. so yeah. i'm putting it in. I FREAKING COLLECTED MY JASON MRAZ TICKETS!! and i collected it with him by my side. imagine the look of jealousy on his face. heehee. 5th march!! another day to look forward to. :)

:)

2009-01-24T09:17:00.002+08:00

sue, i can't believe you counted how many i miss yous. the last time we met, we said to meet at least once a month, but now...look at us. i think the last time we met was in november? for dee's surprise birthday party. but i really really miss you girls!! :)

looking forward to bowling later!!

my girlfriend, if you're reading this. stay until closing tomorrow. then we can chill like ice cream filling just as jason sings it. love you.

2009-01-23T00:55:00.002+08:00

i've built a wall around my heart
never let it fall apart
but strangely i wish secretly it would fall down

i miss my bestfriends. Nur Diyanah Yahya and Suhaila Abdullah. you're wanted. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you.

2009-01-17T12:59:00.002+08:00

three months ago, i turned 21. and three months later, this same date has another significance for me. taking things slow.

2009 will be a year of changes. one year and nine months after i joined borders, i'm finally leaving it. leaving it for other opportunities. i've made many friends and i'm glad for the ones that i've become close with. lanxi, filza, nadiah, hazlinda and farhan. my paperchase team, you girls are the best teammates i could have ever asked for. we've been the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. and yet we still stuck together to overcome it all. the bitchy managers (i won't say who, you girls know), the monster, the evil stepfather. i love you, girls! :)

2009-01-10T01:07:00.002+08:00

'friendships are better than normal ships.'

this was said on a card sold at Paperchase. but i guess, sometimes for some people, they just don't get it. as a good friend of both parties, i want things to work out between the two of you.

2009-01-08T00:13:00.002+08:00

kl was truly an eating trip. eating started off in johor. roti john, lekor, teh tarik. superb!! as usual after arriving in kl, macs was our first destination. pre-breakkie. coffee in the morning while waiting for shops to open. the guys had gelato at nine in the morning!! CRAZY!! had our real breakfast at the prata shop. after visiting borders, we had baskin robbins while waiting for lunch. hahahahaha. nando's at pavilion. walked around some and decided to have a second round at baskin!! ice cream heaven. walking around after each meal is good. helps with digestion. so there were FREQUENT trips to the toilet for the guys. hurmph. klcc for a&w. but our hopes fell short. had early dinner at kampung baru. cheap cheap delish food. went back to klcc in hopes of a&w. again, it wasn't fulfilled. took away subway. had it for supper in the train ride back. i spent most of my rm.s on food. money well spent.

thinking that i just had an eating trip a few days ago, today i indulged myself with another feast. at seoul garden with my poly girlfriends. catching up, laughing, poking fun at each other. i miss you girls!! :)

bestfriends, next week!! :)

*

life has it's surprises. cherish each moment as if it was the last. take one step at a time. hey, the future's future. enjoy life, live it and give love. :)

2008-12-31T23:44:00.002+08:00

my last post for 08.

embrace whatever is, live life and give love. and you're set for 09.

i look forward to new opportunities in every aspect. it's time to be positive. no more self induced heartaches.

to my friends, i wish all of you good health, be happy, luck in love and peace.

goodbye 2008.
hello 2009. :)

2008-12-26T00:57:00.002+08:00

i miss lanxi and filz. it's been so long since we hung out and talked. yes woman, i agree with what you said on your blog. i think the whatever we been through, was really a blessing in disguise. :)

i'll be needing the last toffee nut latte before it goes away until next year.

2008-12-25T00:09:00.002+08:00

just talk yourself up
and tear yourself down
you've hit your one wall
now find a way around
well what's the problem?
you've got a lot of nerve
so what did you think i would say
no you can't run away
you wouldn't
i never wanted to say this
you never wanted to stay
i put my faith in you, so much faith
and then you just threw it away
you threw it away
i'm not so naive
my sorry eyes can see
the way you fight shy
of almost everything
well, if you give up
you'll get what you deserve

for a pessimist, i'm pretty optimistic. this is how i'm feeling. exactly how.

*

well, australia was looooooooooooong. three hours long. draggy for the first third. and exciting for the rest. it was an interesting movie. watching hugh jackman was worth three hours sitting.

2008-12-20T00:56:00.002+08:00

after five days of solitude, bliss, being home alone, my family's back from their trip. my brothers and father spent 300rm+ worth of clothes at FOS. luq, who hasn't been to kl in over 4 years, shopped like crazy according to my mum. shopping. that's a word you'll hear a lot these days. ;)

the big day went. i think it went okay. insya'Allah. :)

i need to hang out with my girlfriends. filz, lanxi, set a date. jp date. then we can explore the new wing together. :)

*

weekend's here. and i have an appointment with........my bed. for at least ten hours tomorrow. i need to make up for lost time. and i need reacquaint myself with my bolster and pillows.

2008-12-15T01:11:00.002+08:00

okay. i feel left out from my friends' life. i only know about their lives from their blogs. which is sad. because i actually see you people at work. but time isn't being friendly to us. different shifts and whatnots. woman, i want to know who's the boy!! hehe.

2008-12-13T22:40:00.002+08:00

if i were to have a new year's resolution, it would be to be a better Muslim. if not, at least a better person. i know it's a pretty long way before i can achieve it, but i have to try. somehow. because i was just thinking, when it all ends, will i have the same courage as i'm doing all this wrong things when i'm facing Him? people who have sex before marriage, do drugs, drink alcohol, tattoo your body, kill etc., is this all worth it?? i hope they realise before its all too late.

*

today has been an odd day. it's a saturday, busy but slow. i was counting down the minutes to when i was going for lunch, getting off work. the queue was on and off. if i didn't take that mc on wednesday, i would have been working for nine straight days. i need sleep. i need proper rest. till next saturday. i'll have to settle for mini movie marathons and short naps.

i'm still craving for ice cream.

i'm not mad at you. more upset than mad. i want good things for my friends and i want better for my closer friends. it is not worth it. i hope you know that. i still love you. :)

2008-12-08T11:40:00.002+08:00

climb up over the top
survey the state of the soul
you've got to find out for yourself
whether or not you're truly trying
why not give it a shot
shake it
take control and inevitably wind up
find out for yourself
all the strengths you have inside of you

- song for a friend

2008-12-08T11:16:00.002+08:00

we had dinner at madjack. duke's rd madjack rocks my socks!! though they didn't have my mushroom soup, we had the usual cheesy fries and our main course. sal ordered grilled fish in cream sauce while wani had the chicken baked rice. i had my favourite chicken in cream sauce. AND!! we finally got our long long awaited dessert. the oh so heavenly OZ Brown. hmmmmmmmmmmm.........................

next up, POPEYE'S!! hehe.

last night was the first time in a really long time that there were still crowds coming in at 10:30. there was also a sudden outburst of human traffic at ten. the queue lasted until 11:15. and i only started on my recovery after the store closed. so yeah. when the eve of a public holiday falls on a sunday, be prepared to work.

*

Hari Raya Haji is today. i have not gone to see the slaughtering of goats in the longest time. i guess i stopped because seeing the goats get slaughtered makes me sad. SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL ADHA to all Muslims! :)

2008-12-05T00:31:00.003+08:00

year end is coming. and no way am i prepared for what's to come in 09.

*

:)

2008-12-02T22:09:00.002+08:00

i miss the poly days. i miss bowling at the guild. i miss playing pool at the moberly. i miss the times when we would go to fc3 for food and eye candy. i miss the nasi lemak at fc1. i miss the gym by the pool where we could also watch the dragon boat boys. i miss sneaking into the staff toilet after training. i miss the forty cents lime juice. i miss t15 mugging hall. i miss watching russell peters and ms swan during our free time. i miss skipping class, creating excuses to the lecturers. i miss saturdays, where i would train with my fb mates. i miss when we would scramble to finish our projects. i miss our movie marathon at the moberly. i miss having breakfast at mcd, knowing we'll be late for class. i miss eating cheap kfc and pizza hut. i miss going to 7-11 for lo mai kai. i miss bunking at the classrooms, scared shitless of sp's ghostly histories. i miss school. i miss my friends. i miss my carefree poly life. i miss me.

end of fairytale.

*

i want front rows seats for jason mraz and justin timberlake. :)

2008-12-01T23:49:00.002+08:00

i've been staring at this screen for the last ten minutes. thoughts going through my head like a bullet train. making it hard to focus. on anything.

i need a shot from the warm gun called, Happiness
*shoot shoot bang bang*

2008-11-30T23:06:00.002+08:00

i guess it's not really out of my system. yet. because the situation still made me sad. 'we' feel different. good different, bad different. same difference.

i'm disappointed with how things are turning out to be. i wasn't hoping for anything but yet, there's this treacherous, hopeful feeling that just keeps coming back. like i was secretly, wishing and hoping. maybe i was. i don't know. the little things that wasn't supposed to matter mattered.

how i wished things were different. but i wouldn't turn back time to change any of it.

*

i exercised my card today. i'll feel the ache in a month's time. :(

2008-11-29T19:54:00.003+08:00

i fell in love all over again.

something. someone. his voice. his brilliance. his personality. i remembered the first time i heard of him. i was thinking, which one? him or the other one? i think i'll choose him. and i'm glad. glad of who he turned out to be. he's so down to earth. when he does his thing, i feel at peace. i can lose myself in him. i can tune out the outside world and just listen to him. his clever words. his quirky style. his nimble fingers. him. even my blog url is inspired by this geek in the pink. he is Jason Mraz. loves.

i was walking around parkway yesterday, trying to restrain myself from going into gramophone alone. knowing that i'll only end up broker alone than when i'm with someone. when lanxi finally reached, i told her of my predicament. but we compromised and she said, okay we'll go in and i won't let you spend. so yeah. i held her to that promise. we walked in and i headed straight to the dvd section which is only natural for me. i was looking at the xmen trilogy all in one dvd and i thought, whoa i'm lucky to have all three already. and suddenly, i was boogying to the music playing. and i realised that it was jason. and i listened closer and soon realised it was live!! and i went slightly crazy. lanxi brought me to where they played the cd. and to my horror, it was his limited edition. his deluxe edition. his recent album, his EPs, and dvd. all in one. a 3-discs set for only $27.95!! i went crazier. after much comtemplation, i got it. and that very purchase made my day. and now listening to the EP, i'm already on a Jason high.

i fell in love. all over again. how is this possible?

but thanks woman! you didn't try to stop me from buying the cd. hahahahahaha. i would have gotten it some way or another. i did some serious damage to my cards last night. it's time for them to rest.

amalina loves jason.

2008-11-24T21:00:00.002+08:00

believe it or not, this is my 600th entry. haha.

believe it or not, i'm listening to most of kylie minogue's singles. i'm watching some of her videos. getting myself psyched for her concert tomorrow night. believe it or not, i'm going for kylie's X concert. can't wait!!!!

believe it or not, i was off today and i stayed home. sure, i slept most of the time but i stayed at home.

believe it or not, i've been rereading my harry potters. and now i'm on book 5, The Order of the Phoenix. sue, i think we should have given dee harry potter or something. ahahahahaha.

believe it or not, i'm thinking of reading the Twilight series. i've been seeing the trailers for the movie and it intrigues me. 'cedric diggory' looks good as edward. hahaha. i might buy the books.

believe it or not, i'm craving for Madjack's OZ Brown and Popeye's Mashed Potatoes.

believe it or not.
thank you.
i'm :)

2008-11-22T23:07:00.002+08:00

i wanna talk about something tonight. but i just can't seem to think of anything to type about. random things. nothing.

*

i've learnt not to put too much hope on anything. i'll just end up disappointed. it's best to take things as it is. whatever happen happens. que sera sera. i guess i've lost faith in humanity and now i'm in pursuit of finding it. again. will the people around me, those close to me, help me regain that faith? i sure hope so. how ironic.

*

the bestfriend had a surprise birthday party thrown for her by her KBs. at McDonalds. hope you love it, babe. i had fun at my first macs birthday party even with the cockups. haha. bestfriend, i hope you had a blast celebrating your 21st. with the great presents given by your bestest friends, KBs and boyfriend. have a great year, bestfriend. :)

2008-11-20T23:25:00.002+08:00

it was a day of celebrations. sue came over to my house for our last minute wrapping of our gag gift for dee. which i thought was brilliant, considering she hates books. met and dee and had our dinner at a thai restaurant in arab street. after returning my book, we headed to starbucks for a chill out session and presents opening ceremony. hehe.

i received mine first. as i got a first look of my present, i thought, oh no?! izzit something from paperchase?? the present was in a borders bag, mind you. of course that would be first thought. inside the bag, was a box with my face on it. inside that box, was 21 folded hearts and another box. this time it was wrapped with newspaper. it was as if it was prepared for a game of pass the parcel. as i unwrapped each piece, i kept shaking the squarish box. when i got to the last piece, i saw the words on the real box, and the metal, i went, 'ARE YOU SERIOUS?????' and i opened it. to my utter disbelief, my bestfriends bought me a FOSSIL watch!!!!!! even though i just bought myself an adidas watch, i've always wanted another fossil. my favourite present so far. :) thank you, loves!

next up, dee. as we gave her her gag gift, sue added more suspense to it. and i swear, dee's reaction to her books was classic, yet expected. hahahahaha. after snapping pictures of her with her new books, we gave dee her real present. we know you love it, so please take care of it okay!! hahaha. pictures are posted on my shutterfly. just click on my pics. <<

this year has been a year of being grateful for the friends i have. for those who know who i am, how i am, and is still here as my friend, thank you. i'm proud to call you my friend and i thank you for being my friend.

2008-11-18T10:19:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NADIAH!!! twenty!! :)

yes. i'm finally off today. i've slept in. and now i need to prepare for later. my birthday celebration with the bestfriends. like finally. after a month. hahahaha.

i've got alot of plans for my pay this month. i owe people money. hahahaha. all thanks to kl, birthdays and concert. and now with the upcoming 'sale' next weekend. i'll never know if i can survive until it actually happens.

though we have not hit the ground
doesn't mean we're not still falling
built a wall around my heart
never let it fall apart
but strangely i wish secretly
it would fall down......

2008-11-13T00:17:00.003+08:00

one turned 18 and the other one 21. to both ladies (you know who you are), HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

i officially don't like the month of november. four freaking birthdays. and each birthday is close to each other. november = broke month.

:)

2008-11-09T23:30:00.003+08:00

i won't say my feelings have been on a rollercoaster lately because it's not. i'm at peace with myself. for this period of time. a distraction is all i need at the moment. to forget. to shield. distraction = friends with benefits

why

why do you always do this to me?
why couldn't you just see through me?
how come you act like this
like you just don't care at all
do you expect me to believe i was the only one to fall?
i can feel you near me
even though you're far away
i can feel you baby
i can feel
why
it's not supposed to feel this way
i need you
more and more each day
it's not supposed to hurt this way
i need you
tell me, are you and me still together
tell me, do you think we could last forever
tell me, why
hey listen to what we're not saying
let's play a different game than what we're playing
try to look at me and really see my heart
do you expect me to believe i'm gonna let us fall apart?
i can feel
i can feel you near me
even when you're far away
i can feel you
so go and think about whatever you need to think about
go on and dream about whatever you need to dream about
and come back to me when you know just how you feel
i can feel you near me even though you're far away
i can feel you baby
why

2008-11-06T01:04:00.002+08:00

nadiah!! let's get katy perry!!! we'll memorise the lyrics and sing it at work. ahahahahahahaha. i'll see you tomorrow and we can sing it's tearin' up my heart.

i was high on coke light at work just now. i just had a sip and i was singing and laughing. making stupid jokes. maybe it's the effects of mixing coke and tiredness. jun and nabila thinks the songs i sang were sad. hahaha. as if i was depressed or something. hahahahahahahaha.

it's tearing up my heart
when i'm with you
but when we are apart
i feel it too
and no matter what i do
i feel the pain
with or without you

2008-11-04T17:59:00.002+08:00

tomorrow - avril lavigne

and i wanna believe you
when you tell me that it'll be okay
yeah i try to believe you
but i don't
when you say that it's gonna be
it always turns out to be a different way
i try to believe you
not today
i don't know how i'll feel
tomorrow, tomorrow
i don't know what to say
tomorrow, tomorrow
is a different day
it's always been up to you
it's turning around
it's up to me
i'm gonna do what i have to do
just don't
gimme a little time
leave me alone a little while
maybe it's not too late
not today
and i know i'm not ready
maybe tomorrow
and i wanna believe you
when you tell me that it'll be okay
yeah i try to believe you
not today
tomorrow it may change...

2008-11-02T23:48:00.002+08:00

RUSSELL PETERS BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay. nadiah's ignoring me online. chatting with filz. said goodnight to farhan. and lanxi suggested to write a feedback form to ljs. my eyelids are drooping and i'm working morning tomorrow. and the stupid walk through is freaking tomorrow. why can't she just stay rooted in aussie??

i've been listening to avril lately. and i fell in love with tomorrow.

okay i think i wanna sleep already. gotta work tomorrow.

i'm out of ideas for presents. HELP!!!!!!

2008-10-30T22:15:00.002+08:00

hung out with my girlfriends yesterday. the sepet jakun and underage girl. hahahahaha. and i got a cow from la senza. hahahaha. thanks, woman. :) i can add that to my collection.

bestfriends. when wanna meet??

i've got a date with ham and kim for tuesday.

i wanna watch tropic thunder, choke. underage girl, you cannot watch these two movies. hehehe. don't kill me okay. hahahahaha.

i've finally watched wanted. it was okay. james mcavoy!!!!!!!! his part in atonement!! *melts* too bad his and kiera's character died.

if you're meant to be,
you'll just know.

2008-10-28T21:01:00.002+08:00

just as i thought it would be like any other trips. it wasn't.

i met hamizah early on saturday evening to make our way into jb. we went on to have our dinner at sushi king. the fried salmon skin is our new favourite. sweet crispy fish skin dipped in light soy sauce. after filling our stomachs, we walked around city square to kill time. surveyed for things that can be bought in kl. boarded the train and started the seven hour journey to kl.

after checking into our hotel and had a damn good shower, we had our breakfast at subway. mind you, it's less than rm10 for a meal. started our shopping spree and eating fever at klcc. had our 'tea' at a&w. it's a fast food place that i've come to treasure. you don't get a&w anywhere anymore. root beer float and curly fries are a must. bought my arsenal jersey from Nike. like finally. would've been great if someone got me an arsenal jersey for my birthday. but no. everyone got me dvds. because they know i collect dvds. but thanks guys. hahahaha. reef, billabong, roxy were having crazy sales. me and hamizah were trying our very best not to spend all our money at one shot. so we refrained from spending too much at klcc. made our way back to pavillion.

after putting back our purchases in our hotel room, we went to berjaya times square to pay a visit to borders kl. and i got a surprise. from the spacious empty two floor store they had, it's now a one floor busy store. they should give us a two storey store at wheelock. close parkway. hehe. ate baskin robbins as we walked to bukit bintang. had our dinner at tony romas. damn the steaks are huge!! i couldn't finish my slab of steak. we tried our best to keep our eyes open during the movie.

had our breakfast buffett. i got my sauteed mushrooms craving satisfied. did our final packing, checked out, left our bags with the concierge and did more last minute shopping. bought reef slippers, tees. sales have been good to us. we closed our wallets at Starbucks.

you must be wondering why i'm giving you a play-by-play of my trip right? you can see that we've the most wonderful time shopping and enjoyed ourselves. but what i'm about to tell you is where the nightmare begins.

checked into our bus. as the guy took our ticket, i sensed something was wrong. me and my cousin waited patiently. he came with our ticket in his hand. and asked me in malay, 'do you have another ticket?' and i was like, 'HUH? Why?' and then he dropped the biggest bomb you can drop on travellers. 'THIS TICKET IS FOR LAST MONTH!' AND I WAS LIKE WHAT???????????!!!!!! he handed me our ticket and it dawned on me. SHIT!!!! fuck!! fuck fuck fuck!! i didn't double check the ticket when i bought it. panic seeped through me. we went to Pudu to try to get tickets into singapore but to no avail. we ended up taking a bus into jb. which took the longest time. and half the time on the bus, i was wide awake trying to recognise anything on the route. once we reach johor, the driver kept stopping. we reached woodlands customs at 1230am. we touched homesoil at nearly 1am. so my advice to all travellers, CHECK YOUR TRAVEL DOCUMENTS. no matter how experience you are, always always check your travel documents. so yeah. lesson learnt.

2008-10-24T00:10:00.002+08:00

C.H.A.N.G.E.

i guess it's unevitable. people, things change no matter what. it's really up to the person seeing this change whether they want to accept it or not. and there's only two ways where change can go. good and bad. and with change, it will always, always boils down to, are you willing to accept change?

2008-10-21T01:12:00.002+08:00

i'm thinking to myself. have i dug a deeper hole to bury myself in? i don't know. honestly don't. i will only find out when i notice anything different. i've noticed the little things and i'm trying my best to be stronger. stronger than i really am. will i make it? again, i don't know. i have to change sometime, don't i? i'll try my effing best to not let it get me. *don't let me get me...*

*to my bestfriends, if you're reading this and don't understand, it's okay. i'm okay. just one of my random blog entries. :)

raye with the spfb peeps was okay. we had better jln-s before. our pact for next year is that we have to drive!! haha. the phrase of the day is/was..."sometimes the right person is just in front of you..." only certain people know the pun intended. secret secret!

2008-10-17T14:59:00.005+08:00

raye outing with the sp mates was a blast. as usual, my friends were malays to the max. they were late for an hour but what they did within the next hour made up for it. haha. i had my first surprise birthday mini party. hahaha. thanks, peeps!! i smelled something fishy at first but i was really surprised. and i loved the presents. we went to seven houses and at each house we ate. the beauty of hari raya. first we were made to fast and then made to eat. i had fun. :) pictures are hosted on my shutterfly. didn't want to post them here. let the pics speak for itself. pictures are worth a thousand words.

i spent the last few hours of my 20th year watching a movie and hanging out with two of my friends. i spent the last half hour of my 20th year in a cab, going home. and at the stroke of midnight on the 17th of october, i switched off my phone and had the most peaceful sleep i could ever ask for. didn't go out today. stayed home. i just didn't have the mood to go out today.

i want to say thank you to these following people:-
nisa, dee, nadiah, kimiko, rudy, nurul'ain, sue, shafique, dzaf, hazlinda, ham, idhzaar, peishan, wani, aisyah, sal, puay tze, kathyryn.

thank you for the birthday wishes. most of you had a common message where we should watch R21 movies together. hell yeah!! hahaha. thank you to ain, ham, kim, dy, yan, shidah, fie, fye for the present and surprise. thank you to hazlinda and zul for the birthday present!!

2008-10-12T11:22:00.002+08:00

hazlinda has been counting down the day to the big day. how many days to mine and how many days to hers. i don't need the constant reminder. :( hahahaha. in my mind, i'm forever 17. hehe.